The holidays are a wonderful time to embrace the potency of saying no.

As I write this we’re putting a wrap on November and heading into the frenzy of winter holidays, American Style. Just insert yourself into your favorite Hieronymus Bosch painting, dole out a few Santa hats and candy canes and that’s pretty much what I’m talking about.

It’s the perfect time of year to practice saying no. Not an apologetic no, the one where you have to qualify and explain and justify and negotiate (to yourself or to others). Look inside yourself, past the people pleasing, past the lack of personal authority and find that uncompromising no. The no that owes no explanation.

It’s not a defensive no. It’s not a no that contains a subext of “I don’t give a giddy fook how you feel about this”. It’s a no that is so secure in itself, in the authority from which it comes, that it doesn’t need to defend itself, even internally.

Spend money, eat, drink, drive here and there, shop, shop, shop, Secret Santa, obligatory cocktail parties, cook, bake, look for parking, people you don’t like, situations that drain you, what am I doing? Why am I here? Frenzy. One more party. Last minute gifts. Sugar. Booze. Social Media immersion hell.

And yet…for us in the Northern Hemisphere at least…it’s winter! Winter is pure magic. Winter is the depth of the heart’s delight. Winter holds the promise of what’s next, but yet unseen, unknown. Winter holds the whispers of lives past and yet to be lived. Don’t squander your winter magic, people.