So to be more clear, I do not see your issues as being about enlightenment. Hence, if you read Maharaj, and he’s talking about enlightenment, then it may not apply.

You seek to escape from pain and boredom by doing things that are less than awesome. This is a personal problem, a self development/maturity issue, even a mental health issue (compulsivity) and not about enlightenment.

Maturity, mental wellness, self regulation and all that are just as noble and worthy pursuits as “spiritual” ones. And I would add that they are also way more practical. But I don’t think Maharaj is the go-to for these issues.

As for self-regulation and personal sovereignty, I was aware from a young age that people were not in control of themselves and that forces exist that move us toward being mechanized and programmed. I don’t know why (why the world works that way, nor why I saw this as clearly as I am looking at my computer screen). The only obvious thing to do was to watch it, study its methods, then resist and counteract them. I’ve no idea why that seemed obvious to me, but it was. So I did. What other response could there be?

As for enlightenment, I have always been aware that there was something beneath and within this apparent reality. I have always known I would remember it. I don’t know why.

And please note how I separated those things out. Command of self is not the same as enlightenment, they are not the same, not in outcome nor in method. One makes your life better, the other does not. One can be gained through effort and practice and dedication, the other…as far as I know, cannot. They are simply not the same topics.

You ask if everyone is here to do this and they just don’t know it…anyone who answers that yes or no is either lying or delusional. It’s not my business to know what you are here to do, or anyone aside from myself. The question isn’t whether all people are meant to do something, it’s only ever whether YOU are meant to do it.

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