The persona, or what is popularly called the Ego, is limiting, to be sure. But damned if it doesn’t have its uses!
After spiritual enlightenment, how do you live without one? You look in the mirror, and you don’t even recognize the person looking back at you. You are so grounded in the moment that you don’t remember the past, except when it’s absolutely necessary…and it almost never is. The opinions, the worldviews you used to anchor yourself, are gone. Simple interactions, small talk, with people can be so weird. Someone asks you what you think about something, and in fact, you don’t have any thoughts about it. Someone asks you what your plan is, what your goals are, and you have no answer. People’s meanings, their motivations, seem utterly foreign to you.
You may be left with the feeling that there is really nothing for you here. The paradigm of gaining peace, happiness or fulfillment from relationships, personal achievements, travel, making money, therapy, self-improvement, spiritual seeking or whatever, is simply vanished. Do you wake up surprised that you are still here? Living amongst all the sleepwalkers? WTF am I still doing here?
These feelings are completely understandable, especially if you’ve recently awakened (for lack of a better term). It’s bewildering to live in a world where you suddenly feel you no longer belong.
This is a safe place to rant about how weird and confusing the whole awakening experience can be, but at some point we have to move past that and just live. Here’s some advice that I hope will be of help.
You’re supposed to be here
If you wake up here, you’re supposed to be here. That might seem really obvious, but I’m telling you this in case you are feeling that being here is a mistake. It’s not a mistake. Tomorrow you may wake up and not be here, but if you’ve woken up here this morning, today, this is where you are supposed to be.
There is an adjustment period in which you feel that if you can’t go back to playing Monopoly with Muggles, then you should be graduating out of here, as if these two movements (back or forward) are the only options. Being here and being awake seems like a kind of limbo.
You can’t go back. You can get better at using your persona, but it will never be the same, ever. If your idea of going forward means leaving here, you might need to investigate the other option, which is that being here in your current condition is moving forward. You are supposed to be here, awakened and awkward and disoriented.
What’s my purpose
So next, you demand to know why. “Okay, I accept that I am here (for now), but why? What is the purpose?” A lot of people are interested in answering that question for you. New age, ascension minded teachers will tell you that you are part of the star seed light worker brigade and that you have awakened so that you can anchor these higher frequencies on earth and help move the entire shebang to 5D. Others will assure you that you are here as a healer or a prophet or that you have some other gift that is your “purpose.” Religious people will give you a different reason, based on their world view. Why am I here? “You are God knowing yourself in many forms.” How prosaic.
Why do you need a purpose? What’s so wrong with here that you need some grand justification for being here? It’s satisfying to have someone fill in the blanks for you, or even to do it yourself. To find a reason and justification for remaining in a place you either feel you don’t belong or feel you have graduated out of.
I would invite you not to get sucked into the grand purpose game. The fill in the blanks game. Unless you want to play it for amusement, but don’t take it seriously. Leave the blanks blank. The mind is just trying to get something to hold onto, some anchorage or psychic real estate.
If you are still here, still embodied, then why not bring your A game to whatever the moment is showing you? Why not show up with a sense of humor and goodwill? Why not deepen your experience right where you are instead of waiting and watching for the Portal to Elsewhere to appear? Be embodied, bring that incredible high frequency vibe all the way down and let your body and human existence be a throne for your divine being to express and experience, get as much of you down here as possible. See what appears. Explore. Resistance is futile, right?
And rest assured, Scotty will beam you up when the time is right.