Losing Your Trajectory

Hand under water.

A sudden and profound spiritual awakening can knock you clean out of the life you knew.

Many people who contact me after an abrupt spiritual awakening do so because they’ve lost their bearings, either a little or a lot.

Whether you have really shifted permanently into an awakened state or you’ve had a life altering spiritual experience, you may find your life suddenly derailed from the path you were on before it happened. So, how do you deal with losing the life you knew, losing your life path, losing your trajectory?

Losing your career.

There are a few ways this might happen. You might become “disabled.” If you’ve read much of this blog, you know that parts of my brain went offline for a while. Some people report becoming so sensitive to people or to the stresses of the urban environment, that they had to retreat from occupations that required this kind of contact. Some people have difficulty focusing on mental tasks. Some people experience actual physical pain, or the sudden need to sleep for long periods of time.

Another thing that can happen is that your work may become meaningless to you. The pointlessness of your job, the occupation you spend a great deal of your life engaged in, crashes down on you like a pile of bricks. Or you just realize, in your very bones, that you are supposed to be doing something different, but you have no idea what that different thing is.

Losing your relationships.

You might realize that many of your current relationships are just unsupportable. It’s as if the “you” that built these relationships is gone, or never was in the first place. Or people can’t relate to you as they once did, and there is no place for this new “you,” or even more, a “you” that is in transition.

You might suddenly have to face the fact that many people are in your life and occupy your time, but they are only there based on very specific conditions. For instance, if you lose or quit your career or stop drinking or no longer like to go to sporting events, any of these seemingly superficial changes can cause them to completely lose interest in your friendship.

Losing your future.

This can be quite difficult, and yet what you’ve lost you didn’t yet have in the first place. You probably had some image of the future, a trajectory, a definite feeling of going from here to there. Maybe you were engaged and that’s now called off or in doubt. Maybe you were growing a successful business, which you felt you had to let go, and now you’ve moved back in with your parents. All the things you were working toward, had or thought you would have seem to have vanished or at least are left in limbo and uncertainty.

When I awoke, I lost the trajectory that belonged to the person that I was before. I lost the beautiful home and all the friends, the wealth, the life partner, the family, the ability to work at the various careers I had prepared for and built, the awesome future of travel and adventure with my husband. Even now I can see that whole beautiful, amazing future life, which never happened. That entire trajectory collapsed. Not all of you will experience this, but some definitely do.

You’re not alone, and it can be such a challenge to have your life unraveled in this way. So what to do?

First of all, take a breath. Yes, that’s good, and just keep doing that. You are going to have to remain very pliant and flexible and open so that all of these changes can move through you without getting stuck. And yes, you’ve probably already contracted around the changes, causing more pain or confusion, but it’s not too late to ease up and start letting go.

Don’t create a trajectory from this place of loss. You’ll start spinning out negative trajectories that have no basis in reality. For instance, if you lose your career, had to give up your flat and are now living on your friend’s couch, don’t start building a trajectory based on where you are now (I’m 40, I’m too old to start over, I’ll never get married and have a family now, I’ll never be able to afford to buy my own home, etc). You have no idea what the future holds for you, which was just painfully demonstrated when you lost your trajectory in the first place.

Learn to be okay living without a trajectory. This sounds so easy, but for most people it’s not.

You may actually recover your trajectory. This might in fact be a temporary setback, or just a way to move you to the sideline so you can process some major changes in consciousness and edit parts of your life. Some people mistakenly believe that because they lost their trajectory, they are not supposed to be on that path, that it’s wrong for them and gone forever. This is an assumption. Learn to be okay with not knowing. Don’t start spinning another story that because something has shifted out of your life, you were never meant to have it. You may yet get married, start a family, open a bakery…or whatever.

Don’t remain too focused on what’s leaving your life. Put your focus on remaining open and letting it move through. Then look around you and see what is actually in front of you. Are there opportunities? They might be very modest compared with where you came from, but don’t pass them by. Is there some other direction that’s calling to you? It might take a while, but eventually you will come up for air and there will be abundant life all around you, with many openings and possibilities, which you can take on face value rather than measuring them against your past circumstances.

I wish I could create a Transition Sanctuary, perched overlooking a Swiss lake. A peaceful, beautiful place for people to recover in comfort and dignity from the various shifts and shocks of awakening. Somewhere to smooth the edges. Until then, know that you are not alone.

This is not just spiritual fallout. It’s actually part of the human experience.

Think about refugees, people who were just like you and me, going about their business, and then some lousy war takes away everything and they are starving and thirsty, and just hoping their inflatable raft doesn’t sink, wondering, “How did I ever come to this?” I know a woman who got into a car crash in her late 20s, which crushed her spine. She is 75 now and has spent most of her life in pain, with limited mobility. She never married, nor had children, nor travelled, which was all part of her life expectation. In a split second, she lost her trajectory. Trajectories are delicate and ephemeral things, castles made of finely spun sugar.

More from Limbo Land

Hedge maze.

Falling Out of Life

All of Limbo Land has higher gravity than we are used to. But this particular level, Abandoned by God, has some other peculiar forces in…

Buddhist painting.

Which Limbo?

Spiritual Limbo may seem like one thing, but whenever you express yourself in these questions, I see so many aspects all bundled together. This may…

should I become a spiritual hermit?

To Hermit or Not to Hermit

Feeling the urge to retreat from the human fray into a spiritual hermitage? Being a hermit is not a reaction to anything. If you have…

Are You Stuck in Spiritual Awakening Limbo?

First in a series of video explorations of post awakening limbo experiences.

what to do when you lose your motivation

How to Deal with Losing Your Motivation

Welcome to the elite group of moody, anti-social, unmotivated enlightened people! Congrats! Some people experience a profound loss of motivation, and lose the desire and ability…

Reader Q&A: How To Turn Your Passion Into A Successful Business

“I’m really interested in doing things. On the other hand, when it comes to translate an activity in a business idea. I’m stuck.”

More Basic Human

statue of bodhisatva

Negative Self Talk: The Inner Dialogue

Is your inner talk show host a bully, critic, heckler, naysayer, worrier, doom monger, hysteric? What’s playing in that pretty head of yours? One of…


What’s Your Ratio? Spiritual Consumption vs Practice

Are you serious about spiritual evolution, personal growth, deprogramming the mind, mastering your thoughts, emotions and focus? This bad habit may be holding you back.

Dew on a spider web.

Inquisitive vs Acquisitive: Inquiring Minds Want to Know

The mind is not your enemy, unless its actions and mechanisms remain unexamined. Becoming intimately familiar with the levels, processes and different modes of functioning…

Bush with the word breathe.

Learn to navigate your mind intentionally

How to interrupt thought loops and take control over your own mind. Still want to stay in Default Mode or are you ready for an…

Hot air balloons in the sky.

Working With Your Flaws Like a Pro

Tips on how to deal with your faults, failings and negative behaviors. How to handle the things you really don’t like about yourself. Developing relentless…

Boys playing in water.

Lighten Up: Emotions

One thing that happened when I awoke is that my heart emptied out. That sounds terrible, doesn’t it? As if my heart became hollow. That…

It's not too late to learn life skills your parents didn't teach you

Learn life skills your parents didn’t or couldn’t teach you

Ready to deprogram destructive patterns you learned growing up? Great, but that’s only half of it. It’s your choice, and also your responsibility. That’s a…

Room filled with furniture.

Everything Must Go!

Yes, I hear you. You’ve got stuff you need to think about. Work issues, practical issues, it’s not all just emotional stuff rattling around in…

Disco balls.

Drama Addict

Why do I keep getting drawn into other people’s drama and conflict when I’m working on inner peace and tranquility? Are you a drama addict?…

Hand under water.

Continuing in the Face of Discouragement

I gather, guard and transmit my power, my essence, my signature. It’s really quite effortless and natural at this point, but can you even imagine…

Abstract carving.

Developing Agency: becoming someone you can trust

You need to develop personal accountability if you are ever going to trust yourself. One of the ways we give up authorship and sovereignty is…

Fern branches.

Reclaim Your Mind and Emotions From Thought Loops

Compulsive thought loops are so pervasive that we believe they are a normal part of being human. While they are common, they are definitely not…

Amara Strand Youtube Videos

subscribe to my youtube channel

videos require headphones