instagram

Postcard from your future self:⠀
I've always been a bit of a germaphobe to begin with, so when covid hit, I really imagined my whole life would change...even once it was gone. I couldn't imagine looking at people normally ever again. It's amazing how quickly that subsides. We are social animals, and we need physical, social interaction. The first time someone touched me after lockdown, I had a moment of panic. I returned to a restaurant I frequented a lot before covid, and I had gotten to know the owner well. When he saw me, he came and took my hand in both of his and gave me the most heartfelt welcome. For a second I thought I would pass out from horror! But I took a breath and met his gaze and stepped back into my normal self. Our Covid Self is just a brittle bit of armour that we need in order to get through this, but it's not organic. It's not part of us...it's only provisional. There will be a right time, when each of us takes that breath, meets the gaze of another human being, and allows that armor to dissolve away.
Have you ever wondered what would it be like to be rid of all mental programs? Is this something we can hope to achieve? I address this in my latest post...linked in my bio.
This is metamorphosis. When fetuses are gestating, they look like fishes and then tadpoles, they have gills and a tail and go through this water world evolution. They emerge something different, but if at any stage they get stuck...well, it's webbed feet for life!  The trick is always -- not getting stuck. ⠀
⠀
#transformation
I wonder how things are with you. This year will certainly be a turning point in your life. I know how engrossing this kind of change is -- you find yourself conducting a symphony of a thousand and one instruments, without sheet music.⠀
⠀
So I offer you this picture of a single, amazing cloud. I was absolutely transfixed by this ephemeral structure, how it held its non-self together in a vast sky. Watching this cloud, I felt cloud-like. Effortlessly configuring all my non-stuff to create something beautiful, something graceful and singular, set like a momentary jewel in the atmosphere.
Turn on the sound 🔊⠀
⠀
I just posted a youtube meditation video...link is in my bio. Make sure you listen to it with HEADPHONES!
I received this feedback from a student in the Mastery course...in response to the lesson called "Shifting Reality Streams"⠀
⠀
"Ah, I had a big struggle with that, getting down on myself and it really feeling like a big giant battle against myself. ⠀
Something has shifted , .....there is less magnetism, less stickiness ....it feels different! ⠀
⠀
It feels more grounded and stable and is open to really looking at all this openly and without battle and without judgement, just curious that it is happening. ⠀
If there is an entity feeding off of me, that I am a food source for something, well, the lion isn't evil because he eats the zebra, but the zebra certainly doesn't lay down and say "eat me".⠀
⠀
Have gotten a much better handle on recognizing default mode and daydreaming. Had a great moment of realizing what are my thoughts vs implanted ones. Have also really come to see how boring! the default mode is, always thinking about the same things, saying the same thing in different ways, over and over again....I can come up with much more interesting stuff."
Mastering your focus is critical. Slackers will either crash and burn or be stranded.⠀
⠀
Your upgrade gives you power and speed. One degree can change your trajectory by a million miles.⠀
⠀
If you feel a tiny grain in the flow, remove it and keep flowing. Take action when your attention is impeccable, not when it is fixated. Action that arises out of impeccable awareness does not create misbegotten children.
One of the fundamentals we cover in Peerless...learning to distinguish which thoughts and feelings are yours. What's yours. What's not yours. What you find can be quite surprising. People who are really emotional are often not experiencing their own emotions at all, just picking up and embodying ambient emotions. It's surprising how much of what runs through your mind and emotional system doesn't belong to you, doesn't even have anything to do with you. It's taxing, confusing and unnecessary. This video has audio, so be sure to tap on sound.
Synthetic Self: "I'll do this practice and go deep within to find my higher self, my essential nature."⠀
⠀
The Synth, or your persona, has only mechanical things inside. Programs, apps, data storage, etc. ⠀
⠀
I see you, and you are massive, immeasurable. Your Synth is like a tiny hologram inside of you, a useful tool. So it's interesting that you rummage about inside the Synth, seeking what is not inside the Synth. Seeking. Being a seeker. Becoming a Seeker. You'll find plenty to look at, lots to discover and tinker with. I rather enjoy tinkering inside my Synth. Only, it's not what you were looking for. ⠀
⠀
I stand in a room with other people, and I'm massive. I take up the whole room, and more. My consciousness is immeasurable, rolling in and out like the tides. People don't see this. They don't even look for it. The brain is set to match a pattern, and the pattern they are trying to match is the Synth. They are looking for the hologram. ⠀
⠀
We are massive, undulating and moving like ocean size bodies of water. We also have a Synth tool, a tiny hologram. We are the same, only your location differs. Your default location, where you focus your awareness and "reside"...the place you call Home and Self, is the Synth.⠀
⠀
Your pattern recognition is set to Synth - to recognize yours and those of others. The world to you is populated by Synths, and the other...the Spirit or consciousness or whatever...this is an exotic thing. A mysterious thing. Because you can't see it directly, even though it is the most mundane, the most common...it's everywhere. You don't recognize it easily. So it seems elusive, "spiritual".
You're spinning in circles. The mind wants to fret about something. It wants to rehash, replay -- either a scene or a feeling track. There's nothing wrong with that, except when it's not something you control, initiate and end. This whirring just happens. Some people leave this thing running, in the background, all the time. ⠀
⠀
Why? Because you don't know better, mostly. You're used to it, and accept that's just the way it is...unless you become enlightened or achieve some kind of remarkable yogi status. ⠀
⠀
But it's not like that at all. Your mind is a tool. Use it when you need to, then put it down. That's not Yogi Stuff. It's just basic human stuff. ⠀
⠀
This background spinning leads to anxiety, friction. If your mind wants to fret, it's okay, let it. But put some boundaries on that. Like...ten minutes, starting now. Go on, fret. Worry. Replay. When ten minutes is up, stop. ⠀
⠀
Feel better? I mean, from the 10 minutes of whatever that was...worrying. Replaying a feeling track. Rehashing something that happened this morning, when so and so said such and such. ⠀
⠀
Did anything change? Did you resolve something in this ten minutes? Did you find a solution? ⠀
⠀
Next time your mind wants to fret, instead of giving it ten minutes, try something different. Make a mental image of what it would feel like if whatever this thing is that your minds wants to fret about was resolved, or what it would feel like if it never happened, or what it would feel like if it was about an alien who lives on another planet and you were looking into their life from a remote viewing portal. Do this for ten minutes. Just hold this in your mind and feel that feeling. After ten minutes, stop. ⠀
⠀
What was that like? Does it feel different? What does it feel like to feel the mind tugging you toward its default activity? What does it feel like to feel that tug and then choose what to do?
How useful is my advice? ⠀
⠀
In my Peerless and Mastery courses, I give a lot of practical ways to quiet the mind. Is this useful advice? Yesterday I did a private consultation in which I reframed my client's perspective: Is this mental chatter even a "problem" that you need to do something about? Do you even NEED to quiet the mind? ⠀
⠀
It seems very different, these two perspectives. One is that you need to master the mind, learn techniques to turn down or even shut off the chatter in order to claim enough space for that elusive *something else* to emerge. What is it? Wisdom? Presence? Your Essential Nature? The other perspective is that holding onto this idea that mental chatter is a problem that needs to be remedied so you can claim some kind of pristine awareness, perfect awakening, is in fact just part of the mechanics of seeking...part of the same mind mechanics that generate the chatter in the first place. ⠀
⠀
Both perspectives are true, depending on what level you are operating from. This is important to understand. You seek, you seek outside yourself, and inevitably you seek through the experience and wisdom and advice of others. But you can only digest and use the advice that is appropriate to your level. That's why you'll come across teachings that you feel in your gut are *true*, and yet if you try to apply them you get really weird or no results. They lead to more confusion. Then more seeking. But you're pointed in the wrong direction! You need the advice and teaching that is not only true, but true for you...where you are.⠀
⠀
And that means also that when you are no longer where you are...when you've moved past that into truly new territory, a fundamentally new level...your old methods, the old teachings, the previous advice...may no longer be appropriate for you anymore. This is so hard, because they were true and they did work. Those practices are like old friends. You are faithful to them. But they are not old friends. They are steps on a ladder that you leave behind without looking back as you move ahead. The only precious teachings are the ones you need, the ones that are appropriate for you right now.
My birthday is like my own personal New Year. I love spending my birthday by myself, out in nature, suspended in this liminal space between what was and what is to come. ⠀
⠀
This morning I went out before dawn to the beach and spent the twilight with a handsome flock of shorebirds and a school of what looked like baby sand sharks, playing in the tide right up to the sandy shore. ⠀
⠀
It's a relief to be here, no one asking me to be anybody. No one telling me who I am based on their personal storyline. Though, I suppose that is not entirely true. I met a bird this morning who looked me over and said, "You look a lot like that woman who fed me."
Into the unknown. ⠀
⠀
How many of you can relate these days? ⠀
⠀
I've been busy the past few months. Kind of amazing how much effort it's taken, just to throw myself into the unknown. Finally, I put my entire home into storage and hit the road, before dawn on a Sunday, and drove away. Hundreds of miles, to a friend's house -- the first chapter in my life without a home. I guess that makes me nomadic. Nomadic sounds more elegant than homeless! Over the coming months we'll see just how "elegant" it ends up being. ⠀
⠀
My goal is to get enough money together to leave the country for a year. Work remotely from SE Asia, where I will have more time to devote to the work I love.⠀
⠀
For now...into the wall of fog. Into the unknown.
In martial arts, one expects to be thrown to the ground, hard. You know it will happen, so rather than avoiding it, you learn to fall well. There is a point in sparing when you know it’s over and you are going down. Up until that point, you are using all your Upright strategies. At that very point of recognizing the reality, that you are going down, you immediately switch into your Falling strategy.⠀
⠀
In life, you need to have both. But you are almost never taught to a)recognize and admit that you are going down and b)how to do that like a pro.
You are in a dismantling phase, a transition. It is painful and confusing, and I’m sorry, but there is no way to escape those feelings, even through “spirituality”…which can be one of the worst detours ever. It is not the last one you will go through. It happens at the end of certain stages or cycles. This is a huge accomplishment. It doesn’t ever feel that way, but getting to the end of a cycle and letting yourself actually digest and alchemize all the dead mind stuff and old persona paradigms rather than continue to find novel ways to prop them up so that the show can go on for another season…this is awesome. Congratulations are in order!⠀
⠀
The process is yucky, and I can’t make it feel any better, except to let you know you are not alone. And also, this may be really most important…there is nothing wrong with you. When you hit the wall at the end of a cycle and nothing really works anymore, your first reaction is that something is WRONG and needs to be fixed. You work like mad trying to find a way to fix it. Your scour books, blogs, forums, ancient texts…whatever! There is nothing wrong with you. It does not feel good to be in The In Between, but you are exactly where you should be.⠀
⠀
You can spend a long time in this liminal space, but you don’t have to. It will be hard anyway, but you can make it harder than necessary, or…only as hard as it needs to be.

Protected: Maintaining Your Boundary

Choosing Your Perspective

This is part of a conversation I’ve been having with a reader. He’s been going through a lot, and his symptoms are ones many of… READ >>

Inner Dialogue vs Outer Diaologue

Normal is not the same as sane. What makes you different from the crazy homeless lady, dressed in rags, talking nonsense day after day? She’s… READ >>

Relationships After Enlightenment

I was alone in the woods on a summer night, when suddenly, I woke up. Instantly, spectacularly, and completely out of the blue. On the… READ >>

As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases: I may earn a small commission if you make a purchase through affiliate links on this site. Thank you!