I Am the Teaching

Water drop.

An illustration of the inseparability of process and manifestation.

If I didn’t lose you already with that mouthful of a heading, let me share a dream I had some many years ago.

Prior to awakening, I had the most vivid and extraordinary dream.

In this dream, I realized I was a teaching that had been hidden until such time as it was needed.

Teachings are programmed to be dormant, disguised, until they are activated. Once activated, they switch into delivery mode. Having completed their single purpose, they cease to exist in their previous, latent form, and only exist in their true form, which is the teaching.

At the same time that I realized this, I was approached by a group of people who knew I was a hidden teaching and that I had been activated. They came to assist me in the delivery phase, and to receive and promulgate the teaching once it was revealed.

They gave me a place to sit and write. It was a round room, and quite dark, almost like it was underground, with a round opening above where a single shaft of light poured down, similar to The Pantheon in Rome. There was a small desk and a very large book of empty pages. I sat and filled them, each day, a little more.

As I wrote, my very existence unraveled…into the teaching, into the words and symbols I was writing.

I had no idea of what I was writing, it came out of me automatically and I retained no awareness of the content. But each time I placed ink on the page, I became less and less.

Finally, it was nearing the end. It was understood that I would cease to exist once the last word was delivered. The people who assisted me told me to go and wrap up my affairs, spend time with my family. Tomorrow would be the end.

I went through my belongings with my daughter, who at the time was 11. We separated what she wanted to keep from the things that would be donated. We talked, and walked along the beach, where we lived at the time. There was only a bare thread of myself still existing. I gave her what comfort I could, and blessed her. I spent time with my husband, making sure he had all the passwords and other information for our finances and the smooth running of our business and household.

My family was stunned, and bereft. A week before, I had just been myself. Wife, mother, entrepreneur, baker of great pies. In a single moment of activation, it was understood that I was not even a person at all, but a teaching that had been programmed into this shape and form.

The time had come. I sat and wrote until the teaching was delivered, and I ceased to exist.

My body evaporated, along with my awareness. I was now just the teaching, which is all that I had ever actually been.

It’s as though the teaching had been given a GUI (graphical user interface), and that was the person that everyone knew. It’s significant to clarify that I did not then go out and teach. I shed my GUI entirely, my code only appeared as that of a human being, when in fact it was information left for human beings. The process of delivery was the complete transformation from human form to delivered information. I had no body and no personhood nor any vestige of my previous form.

Something that has become very obvious to me after enlightenment, and yet is really impossible to get others to fully grasp is that process and manifestation are not two things, but the same thing, inseparable. This dream gave me the experiential understanding of this, even though I didn’t understand the universality of this until I fully awoke.

You might be wondering, “Where’s the beef?” As I’ve said many times, I don’t have any teaching. A lot of people who present themselves to the public as enlightened have a teaching. My bag is empty.

I’ll be speaking in the future about this universal understanding of process being inseparable from manifestation. I know that almost no one will really understand this, but it’s so profound and fundamental.

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