Forgive yourself…in advance

Want to change your life, work on a project, create something? You’re going to need more than motivation to get you past resistance. 

Moving from insight to consistent action isn’t easy.

A lot of the private consultation I do is helping people understand their default programming, and then working with them to devise a strategy to change it. But understanding and strategy only go so far…the crucial part is execution, and that’s where all kinds of Resistance Protocols get triggered. 

The default program says, “Of course, darling…go play with Amara and amuse yourself with all that insight. Do it all you want.” People love the aha! of insight. Even when I show them some really ugly, corrosive program that got laid down way back when, there is this feeling of relief. We get to look at it together, give it a name and contours and suddenly it’s not just some gigantic amorphous ghoul messing up your life or standing in the way of moving forward.

But insight without action is absolutely worthless. It’s no better than entertainment. And a lot of people get stuck in that endless loop of Personal Development Entertainment, making modest, superficial gains.

Accept that you might really suck, and then do it anyway.

Whether you’re trying to launch a side business, retrain yourself into healthier relationships or write a book, the only thing that’s going to get you there is consistent action. Even if you’re taking small steps, any step outside your comfort zone is going to kick up Resistance. 

One of the fundamental strategies to de-fang this remorseless generator of obstacles is to forgive yourself before you start.

Anxiety about not being good enough, crushing doubts about whether you can actually accomplish your goal, not having a bloody clue what you are doing, being totally uncertain if you’re even doing it right, having no guarantee at all that it will turn out okay, not trusting yourself to follow through…

There are no stand ins. You are the only one who can show up for your life.

Good lord, if you could hear the litany of fear and negativity in your head! You think you can hear it, you think you are aware of it, when in truth you only catch it some of the time. The rest of the time it drones on and you’re not even really aware…it’s just sapping your energy in the background. 

So, today. Forgive yourself and then take action anyway. Forgive yourself truly and lovingly and then show up for yourself, for your life…and take action.

Accept and forgive. Forgive from the heart. Accept that you might not get it right. Forgive that you might mess it up. Forgive that you’re not a shiny finished product, but a process…and some days that process is messier than others. Forgive yourself for being so foolish and brazen as to take the risk to create, to change, to grow.

And then show up. Do the work. Show up for yourself. If it’s good, give yourself a big hug! If it’s not, you’re already forgiven. It’s practice, you’ll refine it. It’s a process. 

Forgive yourself for wanting to hide, and then show up.

It can be really hard to show up for yourself. Maybe not in every area of life, but there are the ones we really want to work on and in those…it can be a huge challenge. There is a powerful drive to hide, and we find endless ways to hide from ourselves, hide from doing the work that will move us to the next iteration of ourselves. We’re not even aware of all this hiding activity because we’re so good at rationalizing it, legitimizing it. 

When you forgive yourself, you should feel it in your body. It’s very grounding and comforting — you might feel a relaxing and opening in your chest or your belly, your facial muscles might relax. You might feel your body letting some of that anxiety go. 

Forgive yourself and then show up. Don’t make a mental note to try it sometime…try it today.

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