Feeling Guilty About Things Other People Do

Reader Q&A

Reader Question
I’ve been doing the Peerless exercises and trying to be aware of what belongs to me and what doesn’t.

One thing I’ve noticed that seems to be a pattern is trying to make up for the bad behavior of others and feeling guilty for things they do, that I have nothing to do with. For instance, I was in a restaurant and noticed a customer being difficult to my waitress. I immediately felt bad for her, but then after paying careful attention I noticed I felt guilty, like I needed to make up for this somehow.

I found myself asking for things in a particularly apologetic way. I wanted more coffee and instead of just asking normally, I asked in a way that assumed it was some kind of big burden, like I didn’t want to be a burden. And then she forgot the coffee until my breakfast was over, but I said nothing. When she realized it and apologized, I told her it was no problem and that I probably shouldn’t be drinking coffee in the first place (!!). Then, and this is the best, I left a large tip for her. I felt like I needed to make up for the other guy’s treatment of her. But then I felt bad after because I’m not even the one who did anything.

This is just a silly example, it might seem trivial. But I’ve been noticing this pattern in other interactions. I feel guilty for things I don’t even do, and I feel responsible to make up for them.

*

More Sponsored Posts

Sage Advice

When to seek spiritual advice. I love Nissargadatta, but I wouldn’t take any advice from Nissargadatta about anything other than high level, real deal enlightenment.… read

Am I Wasting My Potential?

Let’s explore this potent question of living up to, or wasting, one’s potential. Once we get that out of the way, we can actually get… read

Figuring Out Who is Enlightened and Who is Not and How to Become Enlightened

Charlatans, damn charlatans. How does one become enlightened? It’s totally normal for you to try to accredit the awakened status of various people who claim… read

Get a Grip: Life, Sex and Relationships After Kundalini Awakening

After a Kundalini activation you might find people reacting to you in the most unusual ways. If you find your energy has become a bit… read

Kundalini Blowout

A reader shares a particularly harrowing fallout from her Kundalini awakening. “I totally lost my touch with reality (saw entities, visited another dimensions, went to… read

Choosing Your Perspective

Reader Q&A This is part of a conversation I’ve been having with a reader. He’s been going through a lot, and his symptoms are ones… read