I’ve been doing the Peerless exercises and trying to be aware of what belongs to me and what doesn’t.
One thing I’ve noticed that seems to be a pattern is trying to make up for the bad behavior of others and feeling guilty for things they do, that I have nothing to do with. For instance, I was in a restaurant and noticed a customer being difficult to my waitress. I immediately felt bad for her, but then after paying careful attention I noticed I felt guilty, like I needed to make up for this somehow.
I found myself asking for things in a particularly apologetic way. I wanted more coffee and instead of just asking normally, I asked in a way that assumed it was some kind of big burden, like I didn’t want to be a burden. And then she forgot the coffee until my breakfast was over, but I said nothing. When she realized it and apologized, I told her it was no problem and that I probably shouldn’t be drinking coffee in the first place (!!). Then, and this is the best, I left a large tip for her. I felt like I needed to make up for the other guy’s treatment of her. But then I felt bad after because I’m not even the one who did anything.
This is just a silly example, it might seem trivial. But I’ve been noticing this pattern in other interactions. I feel guilty for things I don’t even do, and I feel responsible to make up for them.
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