Fear In Transition

I know what you mean about needing to withdraw from being the center of all that energy and attention for a while.

And I know well the fear of letting go of what you know and not knowing what fills that space. It’s so very uncomfortable. And this is partly why I want to reach out to people via my website, because most literature out there just tells you that awakening is wonderful and all your problems will disappear. You’ll be rich and healthy and your bald spot will fill in again, because you are so aligned, you are so positive and free of fear, etc.

Blast! Awakening is amazing and powerful and all that. And maybe for some people everything falls into place perfectly when they awaken. Everything is okay from an expanded perspective, but it’s still scary as hell. Especially since we don’t have a lot of practical guidance or encouragement. Where’s the users manual for this?

Sit with your fear. I hope that, without trying to escape or remedy the fear, you can also hold the excitement of the unknown future.

Also hold the powerful KNOWING that you are here in this very pivotal time and place to pour out your heart strength and your compassion and your laughter, you are here to explore your unique gifts (which may get more unique as things unfold in your awakening) in the world. The world will call forth your gifts, one by one, day by day in ways that may look very different from how you used to deliver your gifts. And there is likely no reason whatsoever for you to be financially impoverished or destitute in this process. While you may experience big shifts and rearrangements in your life, there is likely no reason your life needs to crumble into little pieces. If you or others would benefit from that experience for whatever reason, it might come. But if not, then I’d recommend skipping it!

So you’ll sit in friendliness with your fear, not trying to banish it with forced positive thinking, not trying to banish it by making money or making your career plans more solid.

Your fear doesn’t actually arise from not knowing how you will make your money or what your career will be or anything specific.

Fear will likely be a companion to you at various stages as you let one pattern of life dissolve, before the next pattern comes into clear focus. It does often feel we are afraid of something specific, like fear of not having sufficient income, and by thinking that way we make that external thing more of a problem rather than letting it be just another element of the new pattern that has yet to come into focus. The fear is there as a natural response to shifting the pattern. Make your money and your career plans in joy and excitement and creativity and anticipation…not as a remedy or reaction to fear. Can you be afraid, but not mentally attach the fear to a subject?

This is kind of subtle, but I’ve found it makes a difference. Even telling yourself that you are afraid because the future is unknown is attaching the fear to something. It means if the future was more in focus for you, you would not be afraid. So then there is a remedy to fear, which is getting more details lined up to solidify the future. The fear is just there as part of the pattern shifting. It’s not because you don’t know what the future holds. In a sense, even when you thought you knew what the future held, did you really? No! Even if you had a solid career, you could be hit by a bus the following day or there could be a natural disaster or a pandemic or a stock market crash…no work, or a severe disruption of business as usual or a drastic loss of value in your investments.

So while it always seemed like you knew more or less the details of your immediate future, every day was in fact another opportunity for absolutely anything to happen.

You are needed and wanted and welcome in this world, why should life not reach out to support you? If you have any lingering beliefs as to why life should not rise up in full glory and infinite creativity to support you, now is a great time to notice them and kiss them goodbye.

These beliefs usually come in layers, so even if you have dissolved them on one level, once you get to the next level and you are about to repattern, you are given the opportunity to access the next, more subtle layer of your old-era beliefs so that you can clear them before the repatterning is set for the next phase.

Each time you get to investigate increasingly subtle aspects of your beliefs. I am in process of doing this right now, as I am squirming uncomfortably between patterns!

Even though this space of being in between is uncertain and uncomfortable, it is the best place to locate these artifacts of conditionality, the places we say no to life.

Anyway, I’ve gone on at length about fear. I was afraid, too.

And I still am, every single time I break out of another shell and emerge into another unknown state of being. It can take a while for the new pattern to come into focus. Sometimes it happens faster, but during the times when it takes very long, there is a lot of fear. Maybe I’ll get to the point where I no longer feel fear when I’m in between patterns. It’s funny though, now when I feel the most fear it’s kind of an indicator that big things are happening.

Instagram post 2103137030108064410_7135779923 How useful is my advice? ⠀
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In my Peerless and Mastery courses, I give a lot of practical ways to quiet the mind. Is this useful advice? Yesterday I did a private consultation in which I reframed my client's perspective: Is this mental chatter even a "problem" that you need to do something about? Do you even NEED to quiet the mind? ⠀
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It seems very different, these two perspectives. One is that you need to master the mind, learn techniques to turn down or even shut off the chatter in order to claim enough space for that elusive *something else* to emerge. What is it? Wisdom? Presence? Your Essential Nature? The other perspective is that holding onto this idea that mental chatter is a problem that needs to be remedied so you can claim some kind of pristine awareness, perfect awakening, is in fact just part of the mechanics of seeking...part of the same mind mechanics that generate the chatter in the first place. ⠀
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Both perspectives are true, depending on what level you are operating from. This is important to understand. You seek, you seek outside yourself, and inevitably you seek through the experience and wisdom and advice of others. But you can only digest and use the advice that is appropriate to your level. That's why you'll come across teachings that you feel in your gut are *true*, and yet if you try to apply them you get really weird or no results. They lead to more confusion. Then more seeking. But you're pointed in the wrong direction! You need the advice and teaching that is not only true, but true for you...where you are.⠀
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And that means also that when you are no longer where you are...when you've moved past that into truly new territory, a fundamentally new level...your old methods, the old teachings, the previous advice...may no longer be appropriate for you anymore. This is so hard, because they were true and they did work. Those practices are like old friends. You are faithful to them. But they are not old friends. They are steps on a ladder that you leave behind without looking back as you move ahead. The only precious teachings are the ones you need, the ones that are appropriate for you right now.

How useful is my advice? ⠀

In my Peerless and Mastery courses, I give a lot of practical ways to quiet the mind. Is this useful advice? Yesterday I did a private consultation in which I reframed my client's perspective: Is this mental chatter even a "problem" that you need to do something about? Do you even NEED to quiet the mind? ⠀

It seems very different, these two perspectives. One is that you need to master the mind, learn techniques to turn down or even shut off the chatter in order to claim enough space for that elusive *something else* to emerge. What is it? Wisdom? Presence? Your Essential Nature? The other perspective is that holding onto this idea that mental chatter is a problem that needs to be remedied so you can claim some kind of pristine awareness, perfect awakening, is in fact just part of the mechanics of seeking...part of the same mind mechanics that generate the chatter in the first place. ⠀

Both perspectives are true, depending on what level you are operating from. This is important to understand. You seek, you seek outside yourself, and inevitably you seek through the experience and wisdom and advice of others. But you can only digest and use the advice that is appropriate to your level. That's why you'll come across teachings that you feel in your gut are *true*, and yet if you try to apply them you get really weird or no results. They lead to more confusion. Then more seeking. But you're pointed in the wrong direction! You need the advice and teaching that is not only true, but true for you...where you are.⠀

And that means also that when you are no longer where you are...when you've moved past that into truly new territory, a fundamentally new level...your old methods, the old teachings, the previous advice...may no longer be appropriate for you anymore. This is so hard, because they were true and they did work. Those practices are like old friends. You are faithful to them. But they are not old friends. They are steps on a ladder that you leave behind without looking back as you move ahead. The only precious teachings are the ones you need, the ones that are appropriate for you right now.
...

Instagram post 2091627249157287834_7135779923 My birthday is like my own personal New Year. I love spending my birthday by myself, out in nature, suspended in this liminal space between what was and what is to come. ⠀
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This morning I went out before dawn to the beach and spent the twilight with a handsome flock of shorebirds and a school of what looked like baby sand sharks, playing in the tide right up to the sandy shore. ⠀
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It's a relief to be here, no one asking me to be anybody. No one telling me who I am based on their personal storyline. Though, I suppose that is not entirely true. I met a bird this morning who looked me over and said, "You look a lot like that woman who fed me."

My birthday is like my own personal New Year. I love spending my birthday by myself, out in nature, suspended in this liminal space between what was and what is to come. ⠀

This morning I went out before dawn to the beach and spent the twilight with a handsome flock of shorebirds and a school of what looked like baby sand sharks, playing in the tide right up to the sandy shore. ⠀

It's a relief to be here, no one asking me to be anybody. No one telling me who I am based on their personal storyline. Though, I suppose that is not entirely true. I met a bird this morning who looked me over and said, "You look a lot like that woman who fed me."
...

Instagram post 2086679336581021573_7135779923 Into the unknown. ⠀
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How many of you can relate these days? ⠀
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I've been busy the past few months. Kind of amazing how much effort it's taken, just to throw myself into the unknown. Finally, I put my entire home into storage and hit the road, before dawn on a Sunday, and drove away. Hundreds of miles, to a friend's house -- the first chapter in my life without a home. I guess that makes me nomadic. Nomadic sounds more elegant than homeless! Over the coming months we'll see just how "elegant" it ends up being. ⠀
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My goal is to get enough money together to leave the country for a year. Work remotely from SE Asia, where I will have more time to devote to the work I love.⠀
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For now...into the wall of fog. Into the unknown.

Into the unknown. ⠀

How many of you can relate these days? ⠀

I've been busy the past few months. Kind of amazing how much effort it's taken, just to throw myself into the unknown. Finally, I put my entire home into storage and hit the road, before dawn on a Sunday, and drove away. Hundreds of miles, to a friend's house -- the first chapter in my life without a home. I guess that makes me nomadic. Nomadic sounds more elegant than homeless! Over the coming months we'll see just how "elegant" it ends up being. ⠀

My goal is to get enough money together to leave the country for a year. Work remotely from SE Asia, where I will have more time to devote to the work I love.⠀

For now...into the wall of fog. Into the unknown.
...

Instagram post 2029905118510284214_7135779923 In martial arts, one expects to be thrown to the ground, hard. You know it will happen, so rather than avoiding it, you learn to fall well. There is a point in sparing when you know it’s over and you are going down. Up until that point, you are using all your Upright strategies. At that very point of recognizing the reality, that you are going down, you immediately switch into your Falling strategy.⠀
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In life, you need to have both. But you are almost never taught to a)recognize and admit that you are going down and b)how to do that like a pro.

In martial arts, one expects to be thrown to the ground, hard. You know it will happen, so rather than avoiding it, you learn to fall well. There is a point in sparing when you know it’s over and you are going down. Up until that point, you are using all your Upright strategies. At that very point of recognizing the reality, that you are going down, you immediately switch into your Falling strategy.⠀

In life, you need to have both. But you are almost never taught to a)recognize and admit that you are going down and b)how to do that like a pro.
...

Instagram post 2027722388909372413_7135779923 You are in a dismantling phase, a transition. It is painful and confusing, and I’m sorry, but there is no way to escape those feelings, even through “spirituality”…which can be one of the worst detours ever. It is not the last one you will go through. It happens at the end of certain stages or cycles. This is a huge accomplishment. It doesn’t ever feel that way, but getting to the end of a cycle and letting yourself actually digest and alchemize all the dead mind stuff and old persona paradigms rather than continue to find novel ways to prop them up so that the show can go on for another season…this is awesome. Congratulations are in order!⠀
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The process is yucky, and I can’t make it feel any better, except to let you know you are not alone. And also, this may be really most important…there is nothing wrong with you. When you hit the wall at the end of a cycle and nothing really works anymore, your first reaction is that something is WRONG and needs to be fixed. You work like mad trying to find a way to fix it. Your scour books, blogs, forums, ancient texts…whatever! There is nothing wrong with you. It does not feel good to be in The In Between, but you are exactly where you should be.⠀
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You can spend a long time in this liminal space, but you don’t have to. It will be hard anyway, but you can make it harder than necessary, or…only as hard as it needs to be.

You are in a dismantling phase, a transition. It is painful and confusing, and I’m sorry, but there is no way to escape those feelings, even through “spirituality”…which can be one of the worst detours ever. It is not the last one you will go through. It happens at the end of certain stages or cycles. This is a huge accomplishment. It doesn’t ever feel that way, but getting to the end of a cycle and letting yourself actually digest and alchemize all the dead mind stuff and old persona paradigms rather than continue to find novel ways to prop them up so that the show can go on for another season…this is awesome. Congratulations are in order!⠀

The process is yucky, and I can’t make it feel any better, except to let you know you are not alone. And also, this may be really most important…there is nothing wrong with you. When you hit the wall at the end of a cycle and nothing really works anymore, your first reaction is that something is WRONG and needs to be fixed. You work like mad trying to find a way to fix it. Your scour books, blogs, forums, ancient texts…whatever! There is nothing wrong with you. It does not feel good to be in The In Between, but you are exactly where you should be.⠀

You can spend a long time in this liminal space, but you don’t have to. It will be hard anyway, but you can make it harder than necessary, or…only as hard as it needs to be.
...

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