You see, one of the many bizarre changes I went through after spiritual awakening was becoming exquisitely, excruciatingly sensitive to seismic activity.

A pressure would start building inside my body, gaining in intensity until the quake finally happened, at which point I felt like I was being electrocuted. A single earthquake would take me nearly two days to physically process. I couldn’t sleep and the pain was torture. The furthest quake I clocked was a thousand miles away.

Since I live in an area famous for its seismic activity, this was basically going on non-stop. And I never knew if the quake would actually hit where I lived. I was always braced for the Big One.

This went on for a little over a year. While it was happening, I didn’t know if it was permanent or not. It was pretty horrible. One day it was gone. Just as I don’t know why it came, I have no idea why it ceased. Today I read that there was a large earthquake nearby and I was delighted to learn about it in this way, as opposed to having spent the last 24 hours actually feeling it in my body as the tension built up.

Seriously, I wish there was some kind of menu of post-enlightenment “powers” we could choose from.

Teleportation? YES!

Geosensitivity? Noooo.