This is part of a conversation I’ve been having with a reader. He’s been going through a lot, and his symptoms are ones many of us have or have had. It’s not easy to suddenly be in a space where your mind doesn’t work the way it used to, or your body seems to be unable to digest anything anymore. You used to have a career that you enjoyed but now you can’t seem to do it anymore. You had your life together, but now you are low on cash and maybe you are sleeping all the time or feel like you are in a thick fog. You are not alone.
Q: My brain fog is still here, makes life quite difficult. I don’t like it 🙁 I might stop eating gluten as well. See if that helps with everything. I like that you focus on whats marvelous in every moment. I always used to do that, and its important, just seems more difficult now. literally life feels like im wading through thick treacle (so its real sweet 🙂 it feels hard struggle.
Strand: In many ways you are feeling disabled by the process.
Things don’t work with you the way they used to. Naturally, you don’t like it! The way I see it is that you are at a point where you have to decide whether you are Divine All Being or not.
If you are Divine All Being, then all is well with you. Not in some positive thinking, cheerful all the time kind of way. It doesn’t mean you have to like the process. But it does mean that you KNOW that you are in control of the process at some level, you have invited it. It’s not happening to you, you are doing it. It’s happening through you, not to you. You are held in grace at all times. You are a master, working the process. Your body is your earthly throne and every moment you clear the body of negative emotions and dark thoughts so that more of your brilliant diving being can comfortably reside in it, can anchor into this physical realm through it. You are in fellowship with all the beneficent forces of creation and they delight to come and aid you when you call. You don’t develop mastery so much as reveal your mastery to yourself as you meet life in love and continence. Regardless of the circumstances. Divine All Being delights in questions, not answers, because questions bring expansion.
You are not Divine All Being. You are just a human personality. Maybe you are trying to “connect to Source” or something. But basically, in this model you are separate from Source, except for rare times when you can plug in. Maybe you are trying to climb some spiritual ladder so you can be more connected. In this model, sometimes all is well with you, and sometimes you are left in the dark, alone, unprotected in a random and largely uncaring world. In this model you are not a master. You are a student, here to learn lessons, or even a supplicant. You beg the universe for healing or money or insight or protection. You ask yourself, “why is this happening to me?” You seek answers for the mind, because answers are soothing. The mind is terrified by uncertainty, by the immensity of creation which it was not designed to comprehend, and is ever seeking answers. But the insecurity of the mind can never be resolved, so more answers are sought, and more still.
So which are you? Because it’s painful at a time like this to vacillate between the two. And if nothing else, this process is demanding that you decide. Because these two realities, Divine All Being and Not Divine All Being are too far apart to just jump between them depending on circumstance. They are too far apart. You will rend yourself performing this kind of acrobatics.
In my view, you are a son of Heaven, and a beloved prince of the Earth. You are a light bearer, a water bringer. You are capable of being a master of your energies at all times. You come here in grace and have nothing at stake. And all is well with you.
And it’s fine to acknowledge that some part of the process is unpleasant. It’s fine to say, “my personality self is feeling fear and uncertainty.” or “the mind is freaking out!’ It’s okay. Because you are not your personality self and you are not your mind. Can you take the perspective of your Divine All Being and be the one to comfort your personality self and your mind? Can you tell them, “Yes, I know this doesn’t feel so great. But trust me, I’ve got your back. All is well with us.”
Sweetheart, all is well with us. You know what happens when you take your car in for a major tune up? Well, it’s in a stinky garage and then it’s taken apart and drained of its fluids and so forth. Maybe it even stays like that, hoisted up on a jack for days while the mechanics work on it. From the car’s perspective, that must be scary and quite unpleasant. It doesn’t know what is happening or when it will be done, if ever. It can’t drive anywhere, and what’s the deal with taking out all my damn fluids!? But it’s a tune up. From our perspective, it’s necessary and a good thing. From the car’s perspective, not so much. Once we wake to our Divine All Being, we carry both perspectives. But only one can dominate, so choose whether you will take the perspective of the driver or the vehicle.