Are people in your life figments of your imagination?

Do you experience a surreal feeling that you are dreaming the people in your life…that they are reflections of yourself?

I perceive everyone as being myself.

That’s an awkward sentence, but I want to avoid saying things like “part of me” or things of that nature. Even saying I perceive others as an extension of myself is not quite accurate, because, though that is true, I simultaneously see myself as an extension of the other person. We are co-extensions!

This is not a mental construct, or a tired trope of seeing the divinity in all beings. That’s very pretty, but my experience is much less romantic, and more factual and gritty. I don’t try to see things this way, I can’t help but see them thus.

How does this work in real life?

Well, my room mate is really annoying. Impossibly annoying.  Even so, I feel like I’m talking to a very annoying co-extension. Not a reflection of the part of myself that is annoying, or anything like that (projection, as people working in the “persona fragment” layer are talking about).

People who have not had this experience of co-extended being sometimes think they understand this by applying what they do know a bit about: the fragments of their persona. Personas are made up of all kinds of fragments, some are mature and wise, some are kind and thoughtful, while others are highly critical, petty, insecure, competitive…or that perennial fragment people like to call the “inner child”. All these fragments. They imagine co-extended being is a bit like that, but of course, it’s not.

This may be a little beyond the scope of this particular conversation, but it’s like all time is happening now, and I’m sharing insight and providing encouragement and mentorship and clarity to myself (you, now) of a previous time, and thus changing, quickening, the Entirety of Experience.

Co-extended being (not sure if that’s even a thing, but if not, I’m coining it!) is also bound into the time paradox. I’m just going to leave it at that because it’s really hairy stuff.

Observe. If you analyse a lot, I understand this well because it is very much the way I am built also.

Some people need to be more analytical, but for those of us who lean toward being overly analytical, I would say, learn to observe without the analysis.

I know, ridiculous, right? No, don’t put yourself on the waiting list for a lobotomy just yet. Do catch yourself when you are in an experience and start to analyse it. Pull back and observe instead. Feel the difference…how does it feel in your body when you are analyzing vs observing?

There is a time to analyse, so don’t worry, it’s not some horrible cold turkey rehab.

You are self-absorbed, self-centered, and all that. So what?

Should you be? Should you not be? Just observe. It does not matter “who” is guiding this process. Even the idea that it is you…do you truly know who “you” are? Is it something outside you? Are you and that other force or intelligence different in a meaningful way?

You don’t need to see it from my paradigm now. You will when you are ready. For now, just observe without judgement. Is it okay with you to observe, “It feels like I’m making up the people and circumstances in my daily life for some purpose of expansion or growth.” You don’t have to believe it or stake your name on it or carve it into stone. Just observe it without judging or overthinking it.

Being vigilant, knowing the Synthetic Self is always trying to keep its primacy as the center of your experience is fine, but at some point it can become its own hurdle.

“Am I just being self-absorbed?” In a sense, it is another sly trick the persona self has to keep your attention trained on it. Weird, isn’t it? No matter what, the Synthetic Self always keeps its primacy, maintains itself as the center of your attention, of your world. If you only have eyes for the Synth Self…how can you truly see anything else?

In other words, these are unproductive questions. They are details which the analyzing mind loves, but can never really know by taking stuff apart.

Imagine yourself in the future, at the very, very End. Imagine that being sending back these waves of serendipity, playing with you, coaxing you, showing you how to loosen up so you can start to unravel that tight, tight cord that’s wrapped around you. It’s play, and it feels surreal. Perhaps it is more real than your workaday reality after all.

If you and I are co-extensions, then are you generating me to give you a stepping stone toward expanded consciousness, or am I generating you to serve my own expansion? Which one of us is being self-absorbed? Are you objectifying me or am I objectifying you?

Have you ever had a dream where you are more than one person in the dream at the same time? I have had those dreams all my life. In my dream I am on a beach with a ten year old boy and his dog. I am simultaneously having the dream from the perspective of myself and the dog, for instance. Not going back and forth between myself and the dog, but all at once. If you have dreams like that, you can better understand co-extended being.

You’re not going to figure it out, but you will stumble into it or even fall headlong into it.

It’s right there, all the time. You can’t miss it and there is never a moment when you are more than an inch away from it. So something (you, expanded you, you in the future, buddha you…take your pick) is inviting you to play, to observe, to shed layers, to let the weird in without having to nail it down. I can’t wait for the day when I get that email from you…it will just be, “OH MY GOD!!!”

I will laugh so hard.

Even people who have peak spiritual experiences can quickly retreat back into their heads.

When you finally drop out of an unreal relationship with spirituality and into a moment by moment intimacy with life, there is a profound shift.

This doesn’t look like fireworks and isn’t a fat slice of samadhi pie. It’s magical, no doubt, but in a very grounded and normal way. You have a visceral, in the moment relationship with Time, with Karma—with all the stuff that used to exist only as Lego pieces in your head.

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It’s totally normal for you to try to accredit the awakened status of various people who claim to be enlightened.

From my perspective, this is just a quirky thing that Sleepwalkers do.

It’s like a Tinder thing….yes, no, left, right, swipe, swipe, swipe. And in the end, what? Will you collect a database of authentic awakened people? To what end?

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Instagram post 2103137030108064410_7135779923 How useful is my advice? ⠀
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In my Peerless and Mastery courses, I give a lot of practical ways to quiet the mind. Is this useful advice? Yesterday I did a private consultation in which I reframed my client's perspective: Is this mental chatter even a "problem" that you need to do something about? Do you even NEED to quiet the mind? ⠀
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It seems very different, these two perspectives. One is that you need to master the mind, learn techniques to turn down or even shut off the chatter in order to claim enough space for that elusive *something else* to emerge. What is it? Wisdom? Presence? Your Essential Nature? The other perspective is that holding onto this idea that mental chatter is a problem that needs to be remedied so you can claim some kind of pristine awareness, perfect awakening, is in fact just part of the mechanics of seeking...part of the same mind mechanics that generate the chatter in the first place. ⠀
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Both perspectives are true, depending on what level you are operating from. This is important to understand. You seek, you seek outside yourself, and inevitably you seek through the experience and wisdom and advice of others. But you can only digest and use the advice that is appropriate to your level. That's why you'll come across teachings that you feel in your gut are *true*, and yet if you try to apply them you get really weird or no results. They lead to more confusion. Then more seeking. But you're pointed in the wrong direction! You need the advice and teaching that is not only true, but true for you...where you are.⠀
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And that means also that when you are no longer where you are...when you've moved past that into truly new territory, a fundamentally new level...your old methods, the old teachings, the previous advice...may no longer be appropriate for you anymore. This is so hard, because they were true and they did work. Those practices are like old friends. You are faithful to them. But they are not old friends. They are steps on a ladder that you leave behind without looking back as you move ahead. The only precious teachings are the ones you need, the ones that are appropriate for you right now.

How useful is my advice? ⠀

In my Peerless and Mastery courses, I give a lot of practical ways to quiet the mind. Is this useful advice? Yesterday I did a private consultation in which I reframed my client's perspective: Is this mental chatter even a "problem" that you need to do something about? Do you even NEED to quiet the mind? ⠀

It seems very different, these two perspectives. One is that you need to master the mind, learn techniques to turn down or even shut off the chatter in order to claim enough space for that elusive *something else* to emerge. What is it? Wisdom? Presence? Your Essential Nature? The other perspective is that holding onto this idea that mental chatter is a problem that needs to be remedied so you can claim some kind of pristine awareness, perfect awakening, is in fact just part of the mechanics of seeking...part of the same mind mechanics that generate the chatter in the first place. ⠀

Both perspectives are true, depending on what level you are operating from. This is important to understand. You seek, you seek outside yourself, and inevitably you seek through the experience and wisdom and advice of others. But you can only digest and use the advice that is appropriate to your level. That's why you'll come across teachings that you feel in your gut are *true*, and yet if you try to apply them you get really weird or no results. They lead to more confusion. Then more seeking. But you're pointed in the wrong direction! You need the advice and teaching that is not only true, but true for you...where you are.⠀

And that means also that when you are no longer where you are...when you've moved past that into truly new territory, a fundamentally new level...your old methods, the old teachings, the previous advice...may no longer be appropriate for you anymore. This is so hard, because they were true and they did work. Those practices are like old friends. You are faithful to them. But they are not old friends. They are steps on a ladder that you leave behind without looking back as you move ahead. The only precious teachings are the ones you need, the ones that are appropriate for you right now.
...

Instagram post 2091627249157287834_7135779923 My birthday is like my own personal New Year. I love spending my birthday by myself, out in nature, suspended in this liminal space between what was and what is to come. ⠀
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This morning I went out before dawn to the beach and spent the twilight with a handsome flock of shorebirds and a school of what looked like baby sand sharks, playing in the tide right up to the sandy shore. ⠀
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It's a relief to be here, no one asking me to be anybody. No one telling me who I am based on their personal storyline. Though, I suppose that is not entirely true. I met a bird this morning who looked me over and said, "You look a lot like that woman who fed me."

My birthday is like my own personal New Year. I love spending my birthday by myself, out in nature, suspended in this liminal space between what was and what is to come. ⠀

This morning I went out before dawn to the beach and spent the twilight with a handsome flock of shorebirds and a school of what looked like baby sand sharks, playing in the tide right up to the sandy shore. ⠀

It's a relief to be here, no one asking me to be anybody. No one telling me who I am based on their personal storyline. Though, I suppose that is not entirely true. I met a bird this morning who looked me over and said, "You look a lot like that woman who fed me."
...

Instagram post 2086679336581021573_7135779923 Into the unknown. ⠀
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How many of you can relate these days? ⠀
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I've been busy the past few months. Kind of amazing how much effort it's taken, just to throw myself into the unknown. Finally, I put my entire home into storage and hit the road, before dawn on a Sunday, and drove away. Hundreds of miles, to a friend's house -- the first chapter in my life without a home. I guess that makes me nomadic. Nomadic sounds more elegant than homeless! Over the coming months we'll see just how "elegant" it ends up being. ⠀
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My goal is to get enough money together to leave the country for a year. Work remotely from SE Asia, where I will have more time to devote to the work I love.⠀
⠀
For now...into the wall of fog. Into the unknown.

Into the unknown. ⠀

How many of you can relate these days? ⠀

I've been busy the past few months. Kind of amazing how much effort it's taken, just to throw myself into the unknown. Finally, I put my entire home into storage and hit the road, before dawn on a Sunday, and drove away. Hundreds of miles, to a friend's house -- the first chapter in my life without a home. I guess that makes me nomadic. Nomadic sounds more elegant than homeless! Over the coming months we'll see just how "elegant" it ends up being. ⠀

My goal is to get enough money together to leave the country for a year. Work remotely from SE Asia, where I will have more time to devote to the work I love.⠀

For now...into the wall of fog. Into the unknown.
...

Instagram post 2029905118510284214_7135779923 In martial arts, one expects to be thrown to the ground, hard. You know it will happen, so rather than avoiding it, you learn to fall well. There is a point in sparing when you know it’s over and you are going down. Up until that point, you are using all your Upright strategies. At that very point of recognizing the reality, that you are going down, you immediately switch into your Falling strategy.⠀
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In life, you need to have both. But you are almost never taught to a)recognize and admit that you are going down and b)how to do that like a pro.

In martial arts, one expects to be thrown to the ground, hard. You know it will happen, so rather than avoiding it, you learn to fall well. There is a point in sparing when you know it’s over and you are going down. Up until that point, you are using all your Upright strategies. At that very point of recognizing the reality, that you are going down, you immediately switch into your Falling strategy.⠀

In life, you need to have both. But you are almost never taught to a)recognize and admit that you are going down and b)how to do that like a pro.
...

Instagram post 2027722388909372413_7135779923 You are in a dismantling phase, a transition. It is painful and confusing, and I’m sorry, but there is no way to escape those feelings, even through “spirituality”…which can be one of the worst detours ever. It is not the last one you will go through. It happens at the end of certain stages or cycles. This is a huge accomplishment. It doesn’t ever feel that way, but getting to the end of a cycle and letting yourself actually digest and alchemize all the dead mind stuff and old persona paradigms rather than continue to find novel ways to prop them up so that the show can go on for another season…this is awesome. Congratulations are in order!⠀
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The process is yucky, and I can’t make it feel any better, except to let you know you are not alone. And also, this may be really most important…there is nothing wrong with you. When you hit the wall at the end of a cycle and nothing really works anymore, your first reaction is that something is WRONG and needs to be fixed. You work like mad trying to find a way to fix it. Your scour books, blogs, forums, ancient texts…whatever! There is nothing wrong with you. It does not feel good to be in The In Between, but you are exactly where you should be.⠀
⠀
You can spend a long time in this liminal space, but you don’t have to. It will be hard anyway, but you can make it harder than necessary, or…only as hard as it needs to be.

You are in a dismantling phase, a transition. It is painful and confusing, and I’m sorry, but there is no way to escape those feelings, even through “spirituality”…which can be one of the worst detours ever. It is not the last one you will go through. It happens at the end of certain stages or cycles. This is a huge accomplishment. It doesn’t ever feel that way, but getting to the end of a cycle and letting yourself actually digest and alchemize all the dead mind stuff and old persona paradigms rather than continue to find novel ways to prop them up so that the show can go on for another season…this is awesome. Congratulations are in order!⠀

The process is yucky, and I can’t make it feel any better, except to let you know you are not alone. And also, this may be really most important…there is nothing wrong with you. When you hit the wall at the end of a cycle and nothing really works anymore, your first reaction is that something is WRONG and needs to be fixed. You work like mad trying to find a way to fix it. Your scour books, blogs, forums, ancient texts…whatever! There is nothing wrong with you. It does not feel good to be in The In Between, but you are exactly where you should be.⠀

You can spend a long time in this liminal space, but you don’t have to. It will be hard anyway, but you can make it harder than necessary, or…only as hard as it needs to be.
...

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